


Only Angels Have Wings

by pateshie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon - Manga, M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 10:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1222990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pateshie/pseuds/pateshie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Erwin forces him to join the Survey Corps, Levi wants to rebel but what exactly is he rebelling against?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Angels Have Wings

**Author's Note:**

> This a small, experimental little thing set sometime in A Choice With No Regrets.

“Fuck.” I curl up on my side. Dropping twenty feet to the ground hurts like a bitch.

 

I can hear a low murmur go through the crowd. They’re probably whispering, too scared to be louder in case he hears them. Speaking of him – aah, there he is. Look at them part around him. Pathetic.

 

“Get back,” he says loudly and I smile. It wrenches the cut on my face open and a drop of blood trickles to the ground.

 

His boots are drawing closer and closer. I close my eyes and let out a long groan.

 

He’s not impressed.

 

“Up.” He pokes me with one foot. That’s right. Dirty the uniform _you_ got me. Is everyone an idiot here?

 

I ignore him and groan again.

 

“Mike, clear the quad,” he orders.

 

I choose to lay there, even if my face buried in the filth, until he does something about it. The other soldiers have begun filing out. Most of them aren’t bothering to hide how bad they want to stay. Their eyes look especially vacant today. I wonder how many he has brainwashed personally. Did he hunt them down and humiliate them too? Or, for the first time in my life, am I special?

 

I laugh and he goes still.

 

“People are going to talk,” Mike says from a few feet away.

 

“Of course.” Erwin sighs like he’s the one reeling on the ground.

 

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

 

How sweet.

 

He pokes me again. “Get up, Levi, I don’t have time for games.”

 

“Is this how you treat a fallen soldier?” I roll onto my back and we lock eyes. “I’m not surprised. You only care about me as long I’m useful, right?”

 

“Did you hit your head?”

 

“Why?” There’s blood on the edge of my mouth. I lick it off and he stares at me.

 

“What do you think getting hurt will accomplish?” he tries.

 

“I’m not sure but as long as it bothers you, it’s worth it.”

 

He crouches next to me. Damn, his eyebrows are no joke.

 

“Levi,” he says softly. I shift my eyes onto the sole cloud floating by. It looks as lazy as I feel. The quad is more comfortable than the bed they’ve given me – that’s messed up. “How long do you think you can keep this up?”

 

“Until one of us dies. You know that.” I turn my gaze back to him. “Now help me up.”

 

He picks me up easily and carries me inside without another word. This is my sixth time in his arms this week. I should hate it but I don’t. My own mother never held me like this. Even if I’m only a precious weapon to him, that’s more than I can say for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’re bleeding!” Isabel hovers over me worriedly.

 

“It’s just a scratch. How was the drill?”

 

“I didn’t do it,” she says proudly and I reach up to tug a strand of her hair. She’s a messy little brat but her skin is bright. Sometimes I forget how young she is. Or how young I am for that matter.

 

“Where’s Farlan?”

 

“Running rounds. He spat on them.” She giggles. Despite ourselves, we’re becoming comfortable here. There’s food and sunlight. Real sunlight, not a case of flickering candles you have to ration among six other people. My stomach is slowly forgetting what hunger tastes like. How will it go back? The acid is crippling so even if I’m able to run, it won’t be far.

 

“Did you fall again?” She frowns.

 

“I had to.” I offer no further explanation. I don’t think I need to by now. It’s been almost a month we’ve been here and we’ve done everything we can to fuck with them. Not too much, of course – I wouldn’t want my friends to take a blow for my ego. Perhaps it’s childish but I don’t know what else to do. Neither of us is stupid enough to think we were happy underground. We were just as aimless there.

 

But now that I don’t stay awake wondering if I’ll survive another day, I can’t sleep. I know I’m not the only one but by dawn Farlan is snoring shamelessly.

 

“Erwin sent food for you.”

 

I couldn't leave if I wanted to but I don’t want to and that scares the shit out of me.

 

 

 

 

 

I like showing off for him. For those few hours I want him to feel like he’s done well. I hope it makes him feel angrier when I fall in front of everyone and make him look like an idiot.

 

The gear he’s given me is brand new. The metal sparkles and the cords could choke a man. I’ll miss it.

 

“Behind you,” he shouts and I twist in the harness’ grip till I’m facing the other way. My swords stay steady even as I hurtle back. There’s nothing chasing me of course and I obey purely because he’s interesting. His imaginary enemies pop up from everywhere. He’s so much more creative than the idiots he insists on saddling me with.

 

“Throw your swords at it, blind it!”

 

I do.

 

“Retrieve them.”

 

I do.

 

There’s something in his voice – pride maybe – that makes me feel like I’m more than a slave. Couldn’t I use the same wings he gave me to escape? Couldn’t I use the same swords to kill him?

 

And yet he still stays alone with me. I can’t decide if it's foolishness or faith.

 

He nods at me when I land next to him, on all fours like some kind of animal. The falling is all an act but I’m still getting used to my newfound agility. Sometimes my speed gets the better of me.

 

I straighten up but it’s not much use. Erwin is a foot taller than me. I still have time to catch up but, as I remember my weasel of a father, I’m not optimistic.

 

“There’s an expedition in two weeks,” Erwin says and I put my past back where it belongs.

 

“So?”

 

“I want you to come with me. They won’t allow it unless you stop pretending, Levi.”

 

“I’ll think abo–”

 

“I’m not playing around!” He grabs my collar. I stumble a bit, rising to my toes. It’s as embarrassing as the first time he had tossed me around. He seems to be making a habit of it. But he’s not cold today – just angry. “I am not your enemy, how long are you going to act the fool? I’m not going to give up.”

 

His grip tightens, forcing me to stretch higher. I forgot how strong he is.

 

“Levi,” he continues calmly, “I will take you outside that wall and leave you there. I’m giving you a choice right now – you can face those monsters with a fighting chance or you can crawl around on the ground till one of them picks you up and eats you.”

 

“So it’s you or them, huh?” I dig my fingers into his arm, desperate to stay upright.

 

“No. It’s _you_ or them.”

 

He lets go and I fall on my knees.

 

“I expect an answer by tomorrow.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’re not unhappy here,” Farlan mutters. It’s not an accusation. That surprises me and I almost admit it.

 

“I’m not happy either,” I say instead.

 

“No. Neither am I. But it’s better, even you can’t deny that.”

 

I don’t.

 

“So will you go?” he asks finally. Isabel is back in her quarters. There’s no one else in our room. They don’t trust us. They used to lock us in but Erwin made them stop. Even his name makes my head throb. He wants something from me – I can see it every time he looks at me. I’ve never had someone chase me like that.

 

I’m a rational man – I can spite him for only so long. He’s already told me he won’t give up. He’s so unlike me. I gave up on everyone a long time ago. What use could I possibly be to him?

 

 

 

 

 

A few hours later the sun comes up like the bastard it is and I find myself in a sparsely furnished room, waiting for Erwin.

 

When he comes in, his eyebrows are practically on his eyeballs. He slams the door behind him and I click my tongue.

 

“Bad day, master?”

 

He laughs and I can’t help the surprise on my face.

 

“You’re determined to give me a hard time, aren’t you?” He walks over to the sofa and collapses next to me. “I should warn you, you have a lot of competition.”

 

I let my head loll back. “I know,” I drawl. “But I promise you’ll hate me most by the time I’m done.”

 

He smiles and shakes his head. “You’re not very smart, are you?”

 

“Have you called me here to insult me?” I scowl and get on my feet. I haven’t moved an inch before he’s pulling me back down. I land a few inches from him. He doesn’t seem to mind but I do. I don’t like the way he looks at me. His eyes remind me of the winter. He’s cold too, when he wraps a hand around my jaw.

 

“How long will you struggle like a wild animal?” he says softly. “How long will you pretend like your fight had any meaning? What difference could you and your little gang have possibly made? A few petty thefts might be a nice fuck to the government you but we both know you’re not happy.”

 

I wrench his fingers off. He doesn’t blink, his pale blue eyes watching what I’ll do next. I don’t do anything. I’m shaking, I realize, and it numbs me even more. He’s not wrong but the future is not any better. I wonder, if I asked him to kill me now, would he?

 

“I don’t like the King any more than you do but I can’t let that blind me. None of this will matter if we can’t defeat the titans. Do you know how many innocent lives you could save, with your natural talent? Do you know the difference you could make?”

 

They’re heavy words, made even heavier by his steady voice and earnest eyes. I hate it because I find myself believing in them – in his words and in his body. He’s kept his promises to me. He could have thrown me in jail.

 

But he’s using me. My hands clench into fists – a useless thing. I’m helpless as long as he’s right.

 

“What do you intend to do?” I say harshly. “Why should I trust you?”

 

“I’m not sure.” He looks as frustrated as I feel. “There’s a lot of filth in our world, Levi. But like you, I can’t just stand by and watch. I don’t know how it’s going to end but I know where I have to start,” he says honestly.

 

I can’t tear myself away. Is this how revolutions start – with the glint of death in a mad man’s eye?

 

“I have a condition.”

 

“Anything.”

 

“Let Isabel and Farlan go. I don’t want them to be in danger.”

 

He hesitates but perhaps he sees something in my face and after a few minutes, he concedes. “Alright. I’ll find an arrangement for them.”

 

“Make sure they’re taken care of.”

 

“I will,” he assures.

 

Both of us fall silent. Nothing’s been said out loud but we seem to be in agreement. Like it or not I’ve just bound my future to Erwin Smith’s. I stare at the crude stitches lining a cushion. Aren’t I just as insignificant? He may have a lot of faith in me but I’ve never faced a real titan before. For all we know I could be dead next month. Everywhere I go, my fate stays the same – unsure as the day I was born. But for the first time I can feel someone trying to change it. Maybe that’s why I don’t move away when I feel his cold fingers running through my hair.

 

“You’re so fragile,” he says absently. “Just by looking at you, one would never imagine… We’ll need to cut your hair and get you a uniform, of course. And train you with the group. Don’t fall this time, okay?”

 

He draws back and when I look up, he’s smiling.

 

“For now, Levi, we’re in this together.” He holds out a hand.

 

A second later it envelopes mine and I sit there, feeling powerless but for the first time in my life, I don’t hate it.

 

I trust him.


End file.
